Talk About Cancer

The family gets cancer too

• Episode 39

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Melody shared what it was like to deal with cancer during her childhood, the ways that experience has influenced different stages of her life, and the things she continues to uncover as an adult.

You can follow Melody on Instagram @lunapeakfoundation, on Facebook @lunapeakfouncation, or on Twitter @lunapeakfamily. You can also find more information about the foundation at https://www.lunapeakfoundation.org/.

Please follow the podcast if these stories are resonating with you. I would also be grateful if you can leave an honest rating and review so I know if I am serving the interests and needs of you listeners out there.

Have topic suggestions or feedback about the show?  Contact me on Instagram or email me at talkaboutcancerpodcast@gmail.com. 

Thank you for listening!

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My reflections on the conversation:

I’ve been reflecting on Melody’s experience trying to talk to her family members about their experience being her caregivers. As I’ve mentioned in the past, I’m a big believer in processing the challenging experiences in life. Some like me, prefer to talk about the experiences, many find creative outlets like writing, visual arts, or music. 

But when I heard Melody’s family members’ reactions, it made me wonder if processing is not good for everyone? Or maybe, for some the processing is so painful that they need an expert - like a therapist - to guide them through it. So nudging someone to process when they are not ready or have the adequate “tools” to do so is probably not going to work so well. This is another example of how my guests’ experiences continue to help me understand perspectives that are different from mine. 

SPEAKER_01:

Hey everybody, this is Serena, your host for the Talk About Cancer Podcast, where I talk to cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers about their experiences dealing with cancer. We're all given treatment plans when cancer shows up in our lives, but no one gives us plans for navigating the hard conversations we need to have and the relationship challenges that will inevitably come up. This podcast is meant to help fill that gap for those dealing with cancer. I think of it as an on-demand audio support group where listeners can hear about others' experiences managing similar problems, but most importantly, get insights about how our loved ones are feeling on this journey none of us signed up for, and better understand where they may be needing support. In today's episode, Melody shared what it was like to deal with cancer during her childhood, the ways that experience has influenced different stages of her life, and the things she continues to uncover as an adult. Let's dive into her story now, and I will check back in with you at the end. Welcome to the Talk About Cancer Podcast. Let's start with a quick intro and have you tell us a little bit about yourself, who you are, where you're from, and anything else you'll like to share with our listeners.

SPEAKER_00:

Hi there, my name is Melody Lomboy Lowe. I am a survivor of acute lymphoblastic leukemia. I was diagnosed as a child at age six, and I finished my treatment when I was nine. And I am an adult now with three children of my own, and I love to tell my story and share it with other fighters.

SPEAKER_01:

Thanks for that intro. One thing that comes to mind when you share that beginning, six is very, very young. I think they're very little things that I still remember from the age of six. But to go through something like that at that age, can you tell us what that was like for you?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, well, a lot of people say that to me that they don't remember much from age six or earlier. And I remember everything. And I think it's because what was happening to me was so big. So I do remember every moment. I remember the day I was diagnosed, I remember a lot of things, but I remember beautiful things as well as tragic and difficult times. But I also didn't know anything different. So at age six, what I knew was going to the hospital, and what I knew was getting treatment and missing school and missing my friends. That was my normal.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you remember how your family helped you understand what was happening to you with cancer?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so I come from a large family. I'm the youngest of five. So I do remember my parents having a family meeting and letting everybody know what was happening. They were very honest with me and they told me everything that was happening. I know other children that were in my position, the parents didn't want to tell them the possibility of death or the different things that could happen to you from having cancer. Unfortunately, I knew exactly what cancer was because a month before I was diagnosed, my grandfather had passed away from cancer. So I knew the word cancer and I knew what it meant. So my parents were honest with me, but they also wanted me to have a regular childhood. So they sat me down and told me, look, this is the plan, this is what chemotherapy is, this is how it might make you feel, and this is how long it's gonna take. But they also told me, you know, that some people don't make it from cancer. But we were actually a very religious family, and I went to a Christian school. So I was surrounded with people that just gave me a lot of positive influences and positive vibes, and I actually wasn't afraid of dying. I was more afraid of not being able to live. Like I wanted to experience things.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow. Okay, that really got me there. You're not afraid of dying, but you were afraid of not continuing to live.

SPEAKER_00:

Is that what you just said? Not living, like not living. Yeah, like people live every single day, right? You know, you get up, you drink your coffee, you go to work. But I wanted to experience life and I wanted to celebrate life and have a childhood and have experiences. And if that meant that, you know, I was going to die at seven, but I had a beautiful life up until seven, then that's what was going to happen. But if I was going to live until 80 but do nothing but sit around and not live life and not enjoy and not celebrate, for me, it's like having a full life was more important.

SPEAKER_01:

Got it. Thank you. Um it blows my mind to have a six-year-old really understand these things about life that I feel like at this age as an adult, I still have to constantly remind myself about. Would you say that has stayed with you and really impacted your outlook and what you decided to do with your life?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I think it definitely has impacted every aspect of my life. I think cancer is just a part of who I am and it's embedded in me. And I feel like sometimes I talk about it so much that people are like, oh my gosh, get over it. You should be done by now. But I'm definitely not done yet. And the way that cancer impacted me, not just physically and how I had to battle with my body, I had to battle with my mind as well. So my doctor, upon me being diagnosed, was an amazing person. And he sat me down as a little six-year-old and said that he was in charge of medicine and I was in charge of attitude, and I was in charge of positivity. And that has stuck with me my entire life, no matter what I do. Like, if I can't, maybe I don't have any control over this obstacle that's in front of me, but what I do have control over is me and how I react to it. So that has definitely followed me through my life. As far as like staying healthy and doing everything I can to keep my body healthy, I feel like that's something that has gone in and out. You know, like as a teenager, you think nothing's gonna ever happen to you. And um, I was a swimmer, so I swam, and that was something that has continued my entire life. That's the one thing that stayed normal throughout my treatment, is even when I was getting treatment, I kept swimming. So I would go to swim meets and swim practices, and I did that all the way through until I went to UC Irvine. I had a scholarship for swimming, and I felt like that's kept me strong. But definitely, as far as feeling like nothing can happen to you, I forget sometimes. So I do go in and out just like anybody. I don't have this perma positive attitude all the time, and I don't have like this perfect health, but I I try for that and I do try to remind myself.

SPEAKER_01:

Very human. And you said that for most people, we say we don't really remember much from age of six, but you remember everything. What are some things that really stick out for you, I guess?

SPEAKER_00:

One thing that really stuck out for me is the people that showed up, the people that cared for us and helped us when I was sick, and also just what my mother went through. And now that I'm a mom, I see what she went through and I realize how difficult that was. And I don't think I knew as a kid how much the family goes through and how much the family is part of your cancer journey. And I've heard this quite often that the family gets cancer too, and that they don't really physically have it in their body, but they definitely feel it and it's constantly around them. I I give a lot of credit to my caregivers and to my parents and my siblings that helped. And I never spent a night in the hospital alone. Well, some of the kids did because that was the only option their families had. But my parents would take turns who spent the night, my sister would spend the night, my brothers, my sister-in-law, like anyone that was available would come and stay with us. And I don't think my parents had to have a lot of meals cooked at home. They were delivered to them, and we were just really well taken care of in our community. So that's something that I remember. And then there's just like little moments when I would meet other cancer fighters in the hospital, and I would skateboard on my IV to go visit them in their room. And we have like a playroom, like just fun, fun moments that I actually really look back on fondly and I enjoyed my time with my friends in the hospital.

SPEAKER_01:

And you did mention that you went to a religious school, so you felt the support, I think, in the environment that you were in. But did you get weird reactions from your friends when you went back to school? And did you have to explain to them what was happening with you?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. I feel like the adults did explain it to the kids, but there's a different way of speaking to kids like to your friends. So they had a lot of questions like, where is your hair going? And I didn't know. It's like it's getting thinner because of the medicine, but I didn't know the exact reason why. And sometimes I would get, Why do you look like a boy? Because my hair was so short. One little girl who was one of my best friends was actually jealous because she would see me get to miss school a lot. And why does Melody get to miss school? It's not fair. And the community surrounded us with gifts as well. So when I would return to school, I would have gifts from the community and just like little hello kitty toys or little gestures that would make me feel happy to return and see my friends or cards. And I remember this little girl always being like, How come you get that? It's not fair. I want cancer too. I was like, I'll trade you.

SPEAKER_01:

You don't want this, trust me. Did you explain to her, like, look, I feel awful all the time. Yeah. Do you really want this?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, that is something that I even carry with me today. I don't like people to know when I'm not feeling well, or I kind of have to hide any illnesses or any ailments. Um, the only person that really sees truly anything I'm going through would be my husband, and he gets all of it. Lucky guy. Yeah. But as far as like friends and family, if I'm sick, I don't like to share it. I don't know if it's like maybe I feel like, oh, they expect me to be strong all the time. I don't want them to see me be weak. I'm not sure what the idea behind that is, but I don't often share it. And I did go through a period of time where I didn't even let friends know that I had battled cancer. So a lot of my um college friends had no idea because I just didn't want to share it. I felt like this is the my new start in college where nobody knows me because I came from a small town and everyone knew that I was the cancer kid. So when I went to college, it was like, you know what, let's just nip that and not tell anybody. So I do still have people that come out and they're like, I had no idea that that's what you went through.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like a fresh start. It's nice then to be like, look, I can now be like everybody else and not the cancer kid in town. Even if it was a very supportive community, it's still nice to just not have that label. So when did it change that you started to talk about cancer all the time?

SPEAKER_00:

As a kid, I talked about it all the time because there was no social media. And so if anybody was diagnosed with cancer adult or child, they would reach out to my family because they knew.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00:

And so they would ask questions and what hospital did you use and how is she doing now? And so we became this little hub. The local resource. Exactly. We were the local resource in our town. It went beyond our town where people would refer people to my mom to talk. Um, my mom and I are both pretty outgoing and outspoken, so we were willing to tell people, and that kind of blossomed into I became one of the national speakers for City of Hope.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow.

SPEAKER_00:

And they would send me around to fundraisers. I was really little, like eight, nine, ten, and I'd go and tell people, you know, this is my story and try to raise money for research or childhood cancers. So I was very, very vocal as a kid. And then I think you just start getting a little bit self-conscious, and I started moving away from it. But what brought me back is my husband. We met when I was 16, and he was 17, and we were lifeguards together. And high school sweetheart. Yes, we've been together forever. So cute, thank you. And he wanted to become a doctor, but he didn't know what kind of doctor. So he studied with my oncologist. Like he followed him and shadowed him for a few weeks and became very interested in oncology. And when he went to medical school, we dated all through college, and when he went to medical school, he started studying oncology. And that just naturally would bring it up. It became like a normal conversation, and I got to be part of those conversations where some of the doctors' spouses weren't able to because they didn't know the different chemotherapies or the words. And I, you know, had grown up around it. So I was able to be part of that conversation. That just naturally made me a little bit louder. And then when social media got very big, Instagram really, not so much Facebook, but I started advocating for other cancer charities and foundations and for the camp that I went to as a kid for cancer. Like that was my introduction to meeting other kids. So it was through social media that I started my account that I would really share. And it seems like sharing with strangers is a little bit easier than sharing with friends. Yeah. Why do you say that? Maybe there's no judgment on Instagram. And if there is, I don't see it. Maybe that's maybe that's it. And face-to-face can be hard sometimes. And also, like you said, it's kind of this taboo subject, and cancer is this word that kind of brings the party down. So I don't want to be at the at a cocktail party like just talking about cancer, but on these little videos or just little posts that I make are simple and quick and I hope effective.

SPEAKER_01:

And I know you said that just being very well supported by your family and having faith, you know, you weren't afraid of dying, but I would guess that it was still scary for you as a child, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think almost less scary as a child than it would be as an adult. Because maybe you just don't have that knowledge of really what it means, you know, really what death or the end means. So that's potentially why it wasn't as scary for me. Because I feel like I went to the this camp for kids with cancer. And so I would meet people at different stages of their fight. And a few friends that were diagnosed as teenagers had a really hard time. And I think it's just being a teenager is hard, period. And then slap cancer and on top of it and being bald and all that stuff made it very hard. So I feel like it's my age at six to nine, might have been the perfect age to fight it. I know it sounds super tiny and you're so little, but you almost don't know how hard it is, and you just do what you're told, where I had no choice. I didn't know any different. So there's that, and then you also just have this positive attitude that's natural to children, and they get to see things in a different way than we see them. Yeah, I think that's part of it. Just being a kid is different than being a teenager or an adult with a cancer diagnosis. I think you don't have time to be angry.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's a very interesting point because one of the things that I've also been learning as I talk to people at different life stages and then how cancer interferes with major life events. I I find that for young adults, it's really hard in terms of trying to finish school and going into a career and trying to figure out who you are as an adult and finding partner in marriage and kids and all of that. It's very challenging for young adults. So it's interesting that you're raising this point of maybe that window of before preteen. Yeah. Essentially, it's like you haven't quite gotten started where you know you feel like all these big major life decisions are gonna get impacted. And then, yeah, there's a certain level of I don't know what the word is, but maybe just being somewhat oblivious to what it actually means.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and it's you know, being naive. It's like the sweet spot right there, the six to nine. You know, I didn't care about boys, I didn't know school wasn't stressful yet. And I missed a lot of school, and I was still able to be successful in my education later in life. So it didn't impact me in that way. And also, cancer is the taboo subject, but so is death. Yes. And those are two things that I talk about a lot because in my foundation, we work with grief as well as cancer and cancer survivorship. You know, those are bummer things sometimes. So I feel like social media does make that a little bit easier. Like I'm gonna put this here, and if you like it, if you don't, you can just keep scrolling. So it's not making somebody uncomfortable, I hope.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and let's talk about your foundation in a second. But we want to ask it's been a while since when you're child patient. Are you afraid of it coming back today? Of course. Do you think about that all the time? Does it and I think you kind of alluded to this earlier, right? Maybe how concerned or how paranoid you are about the cancer coming back also probably ties to where you're in your life and what responsibilities you have.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, definitely. I think any cancer survivor has that fear of it coming back because you don't want to live through that again. No matter what you've made of it, you know, even if you have a beautiful life now, you don't want to go back. And especially now that I am a mom of three young boys and I don't want to have to put them through any of what my family went through. So I do have fears, obviously. Every time I have to go get blood work because I had a blood cancer, I get worried and I want to see the results right away. The good thing is I'm married to a hematologist oncologist. So he's able, he's able to check everything for me, and it makes me a little bit less paranoid. But I definitely suffer from anxiety, I've suffered from depression. These are all things that go along with being a cancer survivor. And I feel like I've dealt with them pretty well, and I just make sure to keep it in check and understand that at this point, being so far, I'm over 30 years out of treatment that I'm kind of like at a reset. I'm almost where everyone else would be. So I still have to just get mammograms and blood tests and just make sure that I'm okay. But at the same time, I shouldn't have those those paranoid feelings. But I am always afraid that something's gonna happen. And especially like with my kids, I'm more afraid with them. Like I look at them when they were six, I was worried that they were gonna get sick. So it's kind of I passed it on to them. Yeah. My fears are with them now. But yeah, I mean, I you can't let it rule your life, but it definitely is there. And the moments it's the worst for me is I have a lot of my friends that survived with me, and some of them have had a secondary cancer, and a lot of it has been caused by radiation that they received as children. It is a valid fear because I've seen it with my own eyes. Just out of my very, very close group of friends, two of them have breast cancer now. So it is something that does happen from the treatments that you got as a kid, but those treatments were necessary to survive at that moment. And in the past, when I was sick, I was given a 50% chance of surviving. Now leukemia is childhood leukemia, I think, is an 80% survival rate, if not even higher. So they're they've done amazing things since I was sick, but there weren't very many survivors. So they're they didn't know what was gonna happen to us when we reached our 30s or 40s. So this is all new territory because they're just before me, there weren't survivors in the 70s. You got leukemia, you didn't survive. And I was diagnosed in 1983. So um, yeah, it's definitely still a fear, but I just try to keep going, you know, just try to enjoy every single day. My mantra is celebrate life. So I try to just do that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. I ask a lot of questions that after I ask it, I'm like, that's a stupid question. No, of course, but but I still need to ask.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, it's not a stupid question. I think people all think it, but nobody talks about it. So let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_01:

Because yeah, in my mind, I I guess the crux of that question is just, you know, like you said, it's been almost over 30 years. So in my mind, it's just sort of like, does that get easier? Does that fear get less over time?

SPEAKER_00:

I should say that it was starting to get easier, especially as my kids got older and I see how healthy they are, and I see how healthy I've been, and my husband tries to tell me, like, your blood work looks perfect and this looks wonderful, you're fine. But I have to say that COVID really reset those fears for me.

SPEAKER_01:

Interesting. Why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_00:

Just knowing that I I have a lower immune system than most people, so that brought fear back. Having to wear a mask reminded me of having to wear a mask as a kid. So these are things that I hadn't thought about in years. Like I hadn't thought about protecting myself from the outside world before COVID happened.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So we were very much, and my husband taking care of cancer patients, we didn't want to be the cause of somebody getting sick.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

So when quarantine happened, I didn't step into a grocery store for over a year, I mean, probably a year. Instacart. Yeah, Instacart for a year and a half. Literally everything was delivered. We did not go anywhere. We went for walks in our neighborhood. We would have friends that would have gatherings, but we wouldn't attend. If we had to go somewhere, it was N95s. So we were very, very cautious, but mostly because of my own fears as well as my husband's patients. They're the most vulnerable. So it it did bring back a lot of my anxiety that I felt like I was handling. So I feel like I'm just getting back to myself again.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that makes sense. And I I I also only asked that question because I lost my dad to kidney cancer, my grandma to uh lymphoma. Actually, now my uncle is dealing with glioblastoma. So it's just kind of weird that many people have or develop cancer. And I've actually gone to genetic counseling to just sort of say, like, is there something going on here that is rare and I'm just not aware of? But they were like, no, there's no link between what they all had. So you seem to be fine for now. And so I think even for me who's never had cancer, I'm always like, I could have cancer at any point, because in my experience, there really is no rhyme or reason. And I sometimes think about how irrational that is to just have this underlying feeling all the time, like, yeah, I could get cancer tomorrow. And sometimes I do get a little nervous about going to get tests or whatnot, like if I'm gonna find something abnormal. Um maybe just a little bit of PTSD. And what you said about you worrying about your children developing cancer, that makes total sense given what I explained about my experience. Um have you gone back to talk to your parents about their experience with you now that you are a parent yourself?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, this is a this is an interesting uh question that you ask because it's something that's been ongoing for a while now. I love to write and I like to write my own stories, and I am trying to do my own history of what happened. And I've tried to sit down with my mom and record her, and they get so emotional. They almost don't want to tell the story. And so we then try to go to my dad, who's very quiet. My dad is an immigrant from the Philippines, and he's very sweet and quiet, and he um his love language is music, so he'll sing and play music for us, but he's not a talker. So he will just give me like a sentence or two, and that's all I get. And then so I try to go to my sister, who my sister's older than me. Um, she's the oldest, and I'm the youngest of five, so she's more like a mom. And she spent many nights with me in the hospital. So I try to get information from her, and she'll get weepy and cry. So it's very hard for them to talk about it. So I know that there's a lot of pain and trauma there. And this was before therapy was like common and pretty much everybody was going to therapy, and they never did. So I don't know if they just don't want to relive it or feel those feelings again. So I haven't been able to get big answers from them. But I do get little, I'll get little tidbits of, oh well, when your doctor said this, and my mom's a little bit like me, where she only wants to tell the positive sides of things, so she doesn't want to tell me about the most difficult times. But one thing my parents do talk about is that it was hard on my siblings. You know, they'll mention that that was hard for them because they were still, especially my brother that's four years older than me, because he was too young to come into my hospital room and visit me. And he was a very large person as an adult now. He's like six, three, he's a big guy. So everyone thought he was older, but he was really a 10-year-old that was suffering and he didn't get as much attention as they feel he deserved. So they will talk about him. And my dad did talk to me about telling his own mom about it, and that she was devastated and because she had also just lost her husband. So, you know, it was just a really touchy time. But there is something that my family does that kind of brings back some memories is that we do a celebration of life. So every year that is the week that I got into remission, we celebrate. And I mean, obviously, the last few years we haven't been able to, but we try to bring together all of our caretakers and all of the family members and community members that helped us and thank them by cooking them a meal and just having a big gathering. And my dad plays music and is always a really fun event. So there sometimes I'll get some stories, but I haven't been able to get a straight answer of I really want that diagnosis day. I want to know what was said, how it was handled, but I haven't been able to get that story.

SPEAKER_01:

That's a beautiful tradition that you have around the celebration of life. Is that something that your family came up with? Does that have an origin in the Filipino culture?

SPEAKER_00:

No, actually. My mother's Italian. Oh, okay. So I'm a mixed background. Um, and my mom came up with this idea. Italians celebrate everything. So they know how to live life. We have a lot of parties, a lot of family parties, a lot of gatherings. Yeah. So she just came up with the phrase celebrate life. And we came up with this celebration of life party. So it's every November we we gather and and maybe we'll be able to do it this year if COVID numbers are doing better and everyone's vaccinated. We'll see.

SPEAKER_01:

And then really interesting to sort of hear about the reaction from your family members when you try to talk to them. Do they get mad at you? They're like, why just stop? Why are you trying to open my wounds? Is that the reaction that you get?

SPEAKER_00:

That is the reaction. Yeah. They don't want to talk about it. They want to talk about certain moments that were amazing, you know, happy moments that we had as a family. Like because I got to speak for City of Hope, we got to travel a lot. So my mom will talk about how we got to travel. And sometimes we will talk about how painful my bone marrow aspirations were. Some of the tests that I had to go through. I was in a clinical trial, so I had more bone marrows than most children because they had to get more samples from me and see how I was doing. So we'll talk about those moments and how hard that was because now kids get put under. So I had to feel all those like horrible. Um, yeah, it was pretty bad. Um, so those are the downsides. And sometimes she'll talk about, oh, remember when I had to hold your hand? Remember when you would run down the hall and try to hide? So we will talk about those, but it's not ever too deep. They do get a little upset. I'm not sure if that's a normal reaction or if it's uh just my family, but they just don't want to feel that again.

SPEAKER_01:

I think it's pretty common. Different people in different families deal with it in different ways. I spoke with this other couple last week. They lost their child to cancer, and so it was a different outcome. But it it makes me sort of wonder like listening to you, like if it's because of their loss of forced them to process it because it was just so glaring, like they couldn't they couldn't avoid it for your family. They could just be like, I don't have to deal with that, because look at you, you're great today. Yeah. So there's like nothing like forcing them to like really process that time.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. Yeah. I feel like that might have been their exact words.

SPEAKER_01:

And when you heard about your parents talking about it being hard on your siblings, how did that make you feel?

SPEAKER_00:

I think it's something that I'd never realized because I was so in my own fight. And I was either feeling horrible or taking medication and you know, learning about medications. So I don't think I saw it. I didn't realize that I was getting more attention. But when you're the sick kid, you obviously need more attention. So I don't think I saw that until I got. Older and for this camp for kids with cancer that I used to go to, when I became 19, I became a volunteer counselor. And they actually started to allow siblings to come. And as a cancer kid, I was like, why would you let siblings go? Like, you know, like spend the money on the kids with cancer. Why would you spend the money on the kids that don't have cancer? But once I became a counselor and I saw like these kids are suffering too. They have cancer too. They just don't have to take chemo for it. But they're feeling every bit of it. And especially the ones that lose their siblings to cancer, I mean, they almost need this camp more than anything. So definitely you need support. Whether you're the kid with cancer or without, you need the support and you need to know that you still matter. So I understand what they're where they're coming from now. At the time I didn't, obviously, but you know, you you grow and you learn.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But my whole family is very proud of me. So I'll get text messages from my brother, and he will put me in touch with friends that are fighting. Or whenever there's a cancer story, I get told the cancer story. Of course. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

It's you're an inspiration. It makes sense.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm sure people come to you also. It's just the nature of being outspoken about cancer.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So let's talk about joining social media and you know, started this page. Was that the genesis of your foundation?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, and no. So I did start sharing a lot. And just by sharing, I started collecting followers that were also survivors or fighters or thrivers or caretakers. So I started just getting that community together by chance. But what really made Luna Peak Foundation start was my niece. She lost her father suddenly. And so we started talking about grief. We started talking about all the people that I had lost and how we could help other people deal with their grief. So it started with grief, and then she started inspiring me to tell my story more. And I had had this idea for a book for years, and I just didn't know how to create it. I didn't know where to start. And she's very business-minded and she helped me figure out how to start it. So my idea was to get all these survivors together and take their photographs one-on-one and interview them and get their inspirational quotes. So what we did is we took pictures of over a hundred survivors, and then next to their photo is one of their quotes. Some of them are very deep and some of them are very light. And one of my favorite ones is like, you're gonna look effing cute with short hair. And another is if you want to eat pizza, eat pizza. It doesn't have to be green juice. You know, so there's all these like really cute little ones, and then there's some very like my own personal quote is something about having to grow up fast as a kid with cancer. You have no choice but to grow up. So there's all these little things, and my idea was to be able to hand this book to somebody who is walking out of the room just getting the news that they got cancer, and then they get our book Beyond Remission, and then can see over a hundred survivors thriving and seeing all that information right in front of them.

SPEAKER_01:

It's really awesome. You're also doing other things now, right? With the foundation.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so we have a few, we have a few books out. We have Beyond Remission that's already been out, and we've already started donating those to local hospitals, and all of our funds go straight back into books. So we're trying to get more books into the hands of newly diagnosed patients. So that's one thing that's going on is Beyond Remission. And we just finished Beyond Grief, which is a similar book where we took photos of grief survivors holding mementos of their loved one that they lost. And we tried to get people that had life-changing loss, losing a sibling or a parent or a spouse, something that really impacts your life. And we interviewed them, and some of the things that we learned and we came up with are so so helpful to newly grieving people. And so we tried to interview people that were one year out of loss all the way up to like over 50 years out of loss. So that, you know, someone like you, you're only three, four years out of loss. Maybe you want to pick it up and look at what it looks like after 10 years. Looks like, you know, many years, and you can see, wow, they're having the I mean, obviously the grief doesn't go away, it just gets different, and they have full lives. So that's what beyond grief is. But right now, my focus is on our newly uh released book. It's called Follow Me Cancer Free. And it is my story. It's little Melody getting diagnosed, and you're walking in her footsteps and seeing her with her friends, you know, seeing her fighting, but also having fun and still being a kid, but having to go to the hospital. So it's a children's book for newly diagnosed kids, and that is my focus right now, where we're trying to raise funds to put those into every children's hospital across the nation.

SPEAKER_01:

It's really awesome. And where might listeners be able to find those books?

SPEAKER_00:

You can go to lunapeakfoundation.org and we also have lunapeakpublishing.com. And also we post a lot on social media. So on Instagram and on Facebook, it's just Luna Peak Foundation. Why the name Luna Peak? So we spend a lot of time trying to figure out a name. So Luna is really that we're a female-owned nonprofit. We wanted to focus on, you know, we're women of color and we're also women. So I wanted that to be what Luna is about. So that's what Luna is. But Peak is that my niece's father, Chris, was a mountain man and he loved to climb mountains. So we wanted something with the mountains in the name. And we're both from a really small town called Sierra Madre, and it's the base of the mountains in California, Southern California. So mountain life has just surrounded us a lot. And so we wanted that word in there peak because it's also just we're trying to uplift survivors of cancer and fighters of cancer and survivors of grief to reach their highest peak. So that's where Luna Peak comes from. Sorry, it's a long explanation.

SPEAKER_01:

No, it's great because I was looking at one of Graceland's videos this weekend, so that actually explains in terms of the peak where that's coming from. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And she's been climbing mountains non-stop. So it's it's very fitting. Is there anything else you want to mention before we wrap? I would like to mention that people just shouldn't stop talking about it. Don't stop sharing because you never know what your share is going to do for somebody else. We found that just one simple Instagram post can help so many people, whether it's with grief or with cancer, that we're going to keep doing it. And the more people that do it, the more you realize that the community is big and there's a lot of people going through the same thing. And you being quiet about it isn't necessarily going to make it better for you. So I think just keep your eyes and ears and mouths open and be willing to share and be willing to listen.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And I love what you're doing here, Serena, like bringing so many stories forward for people. So I appreciate you.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you. And thank you for taking the time to share a bit of your journey today. As a follower of all of your different social media accounts with Graceland, I can say that's true that what you were sharing on there is very uplifting and builds a sense of community and for people not to have to feel alone on their journeys. So thank you. Thank you. I've been reflecting on Melody's experience trying to talk to her family members about their experience being her caregivers. As I've mentioned in the past, I'm a big believer in processing the challenging experiences in life. Some people like me prefer to talk about the experiences. Many find creative outlets like writing, visual arts, or music. But when I heard Melody's family members' reactions, it made me wonder if processing is not good for everybody. Or maybe for some the processing is so painful that they need an expert, like a therapist, to guide them through it. So that nudging someone to process when they're not ready or have the adequate tools to do so is probably not going to work out so well. This is another example of how my guests' experiences continue to help me understand perspectives that are different from mine. And that's a wrap for today. Please follow the podcast if these stories are resonating with you. I am also in the process of planning for the 2022 season, so if there's a topic that I haven't touched on that you would like me to explore, please contact me by emailing info at talkabout cancer podcast.com. Thank you for listening.